This is where I should be

I had two doctor appointments today. The first one was with my new ob-gyn and the second was the follow up with my surgeon.

I was a little nervous going to the first appointment. I didn't know what it was going to be like seeing that doctor again. The last time I saw her was the worst night of my life. She was so kind that night, so gentle. A little background for those who don't know the story: after we had Ryan we had many issues with the OB practice I was with. The follow up care we recieved was far from acceptable. I knew I needed to find a new group of doctors but didn't know where to begin. My sister was taking my nephew to his ped. for a visit so I asked her to get a name from that doc. I got the name of the group and made a phone call. There are 8 (I think) doctors in this practice with 3 locations. I called and asked to make an appointment. They gave me an appointment at the location I wanted. They told me which doctor I'd be seeing (I didn't have a specific name of who to see so I just went with whoever had an opening). Around two weeks after making the appointment Ryan's birth certificate came in the mail. It was signed by a doctor with the same name that I had the appointment with. I called the birth certificate office at the hospital to ask who signs them. The lady answered "the doctor who delivered".

So I had an appointment with the doctor who delivered Ryan and I didn't even know it. There was a sense of relief that came over me. I couldn't tell you what she looked like or her name but I can tell you verbatim every word she spoke to me that night.

So today was finally the appointment. She walked in and shook my hand and Nick's. She sat down on a stool and rolled right over to where I was sitting on a chair. She asked about my history (finally a Doc who reads them!) and asked about my most recent surgery. I started to tell her why I had this surgery. I told her she was the one who delivered Ryan. She looks at Nick and says "that's why you look so familiar". She remembered. She remembered that night. She remembered Ryan's name. She remembered Nick pulling her out in the hallway and asking advice on what to do. She was one of our angel's that night. When I broke down crying telling the story and how much she helped us in the short amount of time she was there she rubbed my arm. Just as she did that night.

This is where I'm supposed to be. She took the best care of all three of us that night. I'm pretty sure Ryan had a hand in getting us back together and I'm so thankful for that. I feel like I got another little piece of Ryan back today.

She said looking at my history and all of the strange ways all of this went down that she doesn't see a reason there can't/won't be another child in our future. She's going to refer me to a high risk OB for an appointment just to get an opinion on how long to let my uterus heal, for my own piece of mind. We're in no rush for anything and know we need to be in the right place emotionally but to hear that the option is still there is a huge burden lifted from me.

The surgeon had the same outlook for us. He said everything looks good. I'm healing nicely (slowly but surely) and he sees no reason not to have another child. He did tell us the abcess he removed was the size of a grapefruit. Pathology came back fine -- no cancerous cells anywhere -- just lots of infection.

Today was a good day. We got good news with definitive answers. It's nice to go in and have a routine visit for a change.

On another note -- today I was watching the news and saw a story about a pair of women who were making a donation to Highland Hospital. They were donating knit hats and blankets and angel kits to the hospital. These are two babyloss moms who want to make a difference. I commend them for what they are doing and sure as hell wished we would have had one of those kits when we had Ryan. I'm including the link so you can all check it out. This is near and dear to my heart. AnAngelsLove.org