Saturday, March 31, 2012

One Thousand

I have to start out by thanking everyone who donated for Ryan's Racers. Our team currently has $2,917 raised and that's not counting money that has been pledged that we haven't yet received. We're going to be close to $4,000. I reached my goal of $1,000. I know I changed my goal a few times along the way but from the beginning I was hoping to be able to raise that amount on my own. I've had so many people donate (some even twice!). I'm sure many of them donated so I'd stop spamming their facebook pages but I don't know if I'll ever be able to put into words how important and passionate I am about this. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We ordered our team shirts for the walk. I'm so excited about them. I can't wait to see everyone there at walk wearing them.

I heard from K., the social worker at the hospital. She sent me an update about some of the changes they were making. They've been using the updated resource list and ordered the books I suggested. Within the month they'll be receiving the digital camera they ordered. Families who go through what we have will be able to take pictures and leave with a thumb drive with those pictures on it. I hope that it never has to be used but I know in reality it'll be needed much more frequently than anyone knows. I'm glad that it will be there and I hope it gives some people some beautiful memories.

All good things...all for my sweet boy.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

10 months

Dear Ryan,

How can it be 10 months? I find myself having a hard time lately. Each day we get closer to your birthday. That mark seems so huge. A whole year. I know it's still 2 months away but it's already on my radar.

Today I had some time to myself. Dad took AJ to the zoo this afternoon so I could do some planting outside. I planted the tree Aunt Lauren bought for you at Christmas. It's got a nice spot in front of the house. I also planted some bulbs in your garden in the backyard. The tree is starting to bud. I can't wait to see it in full bloom. After I was done planting I went and had a nice lunch and did a little shopping. The few hours I had alone made such a difference.

Dad and AJ had a nice time at the zoo. They went to the park afterwards and all in all they had a great day together. I hope you were there with them enjoying it too.

We're doing great raising money for the March of Dimes. As of tonight we have $2,147. And there are still 60 days to go. I've also joined the Family Team Committee. I'm looking forward to working with MOD on different projects.

Ten long months and I still miss you like it's the first day without you. I love you so, so much. Forever and a day.


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Winners and Losers

Let me start off by saying that I'm not usually very lucky. I don't win on scratch-off tickets. I suck at Bingo. I don't really bother gambling because I just give away my money. Well tonight my luck changed. I entered a giveaway from CarlyMarie. This awesome woman draws names in the sand for families who have lost children. We got Ryan's name done and I love it so much. When I saw she was doing a giveaway for one of her gorgeous butterflies I figured I'd enter but had no shot at winning. Well guess what?! I DID win!! I even had to click the link to make sure it was me! I'm so excited! I'll be sure to post a picture once I get it. (And for more info on Carly check out the button on the right side of the page)

Last night we went to the RIT hockey game. It was the semi-finals so they were being held at Blue Cross Arena. Normally AJ is so good when we go to the games but for some reason he wasn't having it. I was getting frustrated with him so we left after the second period. They won the game so tonight was the final. We thought we were all prepared packing his dvd player to keep him occupied. We enjoyed some ice cream before the game started and he was having fun doing the chants as the start of the game was approaching. As the first period ended he told us he needed a change. OK fine. As he stood up I could see that his diaper had leaked. What I didn't know is that not only did it leak but the whole thing shifted. I'll spare you the details but we had to throw out his shoes and socks. I'll leave it at that. He left in my sweatshirt. I guess being at those games just weren't meant to be! RIT lost to Air Force so there's always next year!

Monday, March 12, 2012

It's been a while...

I hadn't realized how long it has been since I've posted. Sorry!

I've been throwing myself into fundraising for the March for Babies Walk. The good news is I've had to raise our team goal a few times. Currently we're at $1,637! And I know there are still a few team members who have to start their fundraising efforts. I can't begin to tell you how good it makes me feel to see people supporting this and trying their damnedest to raise money in Ryan's name. When I'm having a bad day I go to the page and see how many people have helped and I look at his band and remember how good it made me feel after he was born. It keeps me going -- so to all of you who have donated, Thank you. I can't say it enough. And for those of you who haven't but would like to, please do! No donation is too small.

We're working on figuring out plans for Ryan's birthday. I think we're going to do a bbq at the house. We'll have a lot of family and friends in town for the walk so that should be nice.

Can I tell you how funny AJ is? His speech amazes me everyday. He hears something once and he remembers it and then uses it in the right context. One of my favorite things he does right now is snuggling. I was laying on the couch one night and he got the blanket off of the other couch, brought it over, covered me up and said "snuggle". He climbed up next to me on the couch, covered himself with the blanket and we snuggled. It was so nice. And the smile on his face made me melt.

We did make one big decision a few days ago. We put Ryan's picture up in the living room. It was something that I was so unsure of for all this time. I wanted it there so badly but I was (still am) nervous about how others would react to it. I wasn't nervous about what others would think (honestly -- I don't care!) but if anyone ever said anything negative I think I would lose my mind. So it's there and I'm glad it is.  

I love you sweet boy. Forever and a day.