Is this thing on?

I know it's on...my brain that is. I can't seem to shut it off. It's as if the calendar flipped to this week and it's sent my brain off and running. Thursday seems so far away and can't come fast enough. I'm scared to find out what they say. I'm nervous that they're going to have me go for more tests and drag this on even longer. I'm ready to be done with this damn thing.

I'm trying to keep busy. Tomorrow is the Parent Link meeting so that should help a little. Wednesday I have my therapy appointment and then Thursday morning is my appointment with the specialist.

When my mind runs like this it makes missing Ryan so much harder. It gets more intense. The timing isn't great either -- Nick is so busy at work. Sitting in a quiet house isn't easy. The quiet always makes it worse.

I'm going to try to find something to keep me occupied and distracted for a few hours....

I miss you my sweet boy.