Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I need a break

After a string of days that were terrible yesterday was finally a great day. I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be a better day. I didn't feel like I had that cloud over my head. AJ and I met up with Lauren and Cole. We had some lunch and did a little shopping for the boys. It was nice. The rest of the afternoon was just as nice. We played outside, the weather was perfect and we enjoyed ourselves. After dinner we went and checked out our new library. AJ had a blast. All the toys and books and other kids. We'll definitely be back there soon.

I think part of the reason why the day was so nice was because I didn't think about the surgery and I wasn't in pain from the mass. I felt pretty decent. You've got to understand I can feel the mass in there every second of every day. It's cost me so much. It causes me physical pain. It's a constant reminder of what I've lost and the uncertain future.

I know everyone is concerned and is trying to help and I appreciate that more than I will ever be able to explain but I need a break. There are other things I'd like to focus on instead of this thing.

So here's what I know -- my surgery will be Friday September 16th I don't know what time. I'll be in the hospital for 2-3 days and then recovering at home for a few weeks.

My mom is coming up Saturday the 17th and will be staying until the Friday after. I've got other people coming to help but I haven't figured out the schedule yet and I'm giving myself a few days "off" before doing that.

So please if you ask about it and I seem a little short don't take offense. Understand that this has been going on for months and I need a break.

EDIT: Of course right after I published the original post I get a call and they changed the date. It's now the 16th.

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