2011

2011 was a rough year to say the least. That doesn't mean there weren't great things that happened though.

It started off looking up. Nick was starting a new job after being out of work for 3 months. AJ was turning a year old and we found out we were expanding our family.

Not long after all of the excitement of those wonderful things it all seemed to start going downhill. I remember this guy on tv talking about how the world was going to end on May 21st. I felt like my world did end that day. I was blessed with the most beautiful baby boy born18 weeks too early. We spent a lot of the time after Ryan was born trying to get back to living and not just existing and going through the motions.

Now we spend our time making sure we remember, honor and love Ryan every single day. We're better people because of him. I'm a better mom and Nick is a better dad. I've made some new friends because of this. I've found a wonderful doctor who was like an angel the night Ryan was born. Changes have been made at the hospital to help other families who have to go through this same thing. Lots of money has been raised for the March of Dimes in honor of Ryan thanks to our very generous family, friends and even strangers.

As 2011 comes to a close I'm sad to see it go. Sounds crazy after everything that's happened, right? It feels like a new chapter is starting but it's hard to anything new without Ryan here. I've had to "re-learn" how to do things...and it's not always easy. We'll get through like we always do but it's not easy.

I pray that 2012 is a healthier year filled with a lot less tears. I hope it's filled with a ton of happy memories. I hope...

I love you sweet boy...forever and a day.