It's 1am and I can't sleep. I'm having one of those nights where my brain won't stop. Maybe this post will help, but who knows.
Nick and I were laying in bed watching tv and he fell asleep. I looked over at him and he was sleeping with his hand to his chin. He often falls asleep like this. But for some reason tonight it made me think of Ryan. When Christa brought Ryan out to us the Monday after he was born he was wrapped in his blanket in this same position.
I'm missing him so much tonight.
We've had family here for the last 3+ weeks helping out while I recover. There have been countless times that someone has referred to AJ as "the baby". Each and every time that's happened I think "but he's not the baby". If things would have gone differently no one would be calling him the baby right now.
I miss my son.