I feel witty

I wish I could be one of those people who always has something witty to say. I want to be the one who always has the comeback. I'm not that person. Tonight I was at a party and there was a conversation about all the kids that had been born in the last couple of years. In my head I was hoping the person would skip over me. And I thought I had escaped it. Nope. The person, full knowing of what's gone on in the last 15 months, says "now we're just waiting on you Melissa". I know it wasn't meant with bad intentions but oh how I wished I would have said "oh, did you forget...I had a child before those two were born." Instead I took a breath and answered with "I need to stop having organs removed first"

Why is it in situations like that I try to grin and bare it and not make the person feel bad? They're the one who's said something totally and utterly stupid yet there I sit trying not to make them feel bad or have an awkward moment. I'm tired of sucking it up to "people will say stupid things". For once I'd love to say "you're a fucking idiot" and leave feeling better and not wanting to go cry in a corner.

We went to a wedding out of town yesterday. It was beautiful. We got to see people we haven't seen in a while. The happy couple looked wonderful, the venue was gorgeous and the food and service were some of the best I've ever had. Instead of favors the couple decided to make donations to a few charities that are important to them. One of them was the March of Dimes. We were so touched when we found out. I can't put into words how grateful I am to them for doing that.

When it was time for the mother/son dance I got choked up. I thought about dancing with AJ at his wedding and then my next thought was how I won't get to do that with Ryan. It's not fair. Not fair at all.

Today we had a friend visit Ryan with us. To my knowledge this was the first non-family member to go there. He asked us to go and I can't begin to explain how much this meant to me (us). We spent a few minutes and had a nice visit. I will forever remember that...thanks Jimmy ;)


I love you sweet boy. I miss you. Forever and a day.