Mother's Day

I was not looking forward to Mother's Day this year. I couldn't help but think about what I was doing last year. I had just gotten to the point where I could walk without a walker. I was on a gluten-free diet. My appendix had ruptured about a week before, but we didn't know that's what it was. But I was still pregnant. Ryan was still doing fine, kicking away.

I didn't want to spend the day without him. I don't want to spend any day without him. How do you celebrate being a mom without one of your kids? As usual the anticipation of the day was a lot worse than the day itself. Saturday I was a mess. Plain and simple. A. Freaking. Mess. I was on auto-pilot all day and I was still having trouble.

I woke up this morning and already felt a lot better than I had the day before. There was hope for the day. I was going to do my best to enjoy the day with Nick and AJ. We all had a nice breakfast and took care of a few things around the house before heading to the Lilac Festival. AJ was so excited to take the school bus over.

We had a really nice time while we were there. AJ went on a few rides and got some popcorn. We walked around looking at the crafts and other vendors. It couldn't have been a better day weather-wise either.

After the festival we went to lunch and did a little shopping. The day was wonderful. After spending time with Nick and AJ I wanted to go spend a little time with Ryan. I was just there yesterday but I wanted to go again.

The cemetery was busy, as expected. There wasn't anyone in the section when I got there. As I'm there I realized something didn't look quite right. I thought the same thing yesterday but with my head in such a fog I couldn't figure out what it was. Today it clicked. The ladybug on a stake that we had there for 350+ days was gone. I was crushed. This is the second item that's gone missing from there. Both items are not things that would have blown away. The ladybug was stuck in the ground! Someone had to actually remove it from the ground. It wasn't in the way of anything. There is NO reason it needed to be touched. I looked in the section and didn't see it anywhere. The office will be getting a call from me tomorrow. I know they can't do anything but they need to know what's going on. What kind of person takes something from a cemetery? And the children's section no less?!

I wish the day didn't end the way it did but I did enjoy the morning and afternoon.

To all you moms out there -- whether your children are in your arms or in your heart, I hope you enjoyed the day.

To my sweet boy, I love you with all of my heart. I miss you. Forever and a day.