Happy Birthday

Dear Ryan,

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy! I can't believe it's been a year. I don't know how it could go so slowly and so quickly all at once. Last May I couldn't think about this day. It seemed like a lifetime away and I didn't know how we were going to make it there.

Well, here we are. We had a fantastic weekend celebrating you. On Saturday we had a big BBQ in your honor. Family from out of state traveled to be here. Friends from the area came too. The weather was 80 degrees and sunny. It was perfection. Nonna took care of cooking and me and daddy got to relax and enjoy the party. AJ had fun with Cole in the pool and Brynn was her smiley self.

Sunday was the March for Babies Walk. Our team came in second place in fundraising for the family teams! We finished at $7,575! A long way from the $1,000 goal we started with. Again the weather was perfect. I got to see Ethan's mom and Hayden's mom there. We all had so much family support. It was really wonderful. Everyone had a great time.

Today we're going to do some special things too. We're going to see someone who helped us so much after you were born and who took such good care of you. We're going to see some new friends who mean a lot to me and daddy. We'll probably go with AJ and make a Build-A-Bear and I'm going to contact the lady to get the blankets I made donated in your name. Of course we're going to stop and bring you some balloons and the special birthday flag and bear we bought. I hope you enjoy all of them.

I didn't think I could make it a year without you here and I owe a lot of that to daddy. When we got married I didn't think I could be more in love with him. Then we had AJ and again, I didn't think I could be more in love with him. Then you were born and I loved him even more, but today I think I love him the most. He's taken such good care of all of us this last year. He's the best teammate anyone could ask for and I'm so glad he's ours.

I want to thank you too. You've done so much for us. Thank you for saving me. I'd give anything to have you back but I know you truly are my angel. Thank you for always looking out for us. I know you do and thank you for the signs you send. I know I ask for them a lot but they mean the world to me. Thank you for helping me get to where I am today. I'm a better mom to AJ and I'm more involved in a wonderful organization. I live life wanting to make you proud and that has made me a better person.

I hope Ethan, Hayden, Anthony and Grandma throw you one heck of a party! Keep an eye out for our lantern :) We'll be sending it your way later.

I love you so much sweet boy. Happy Birthday.

Forever and a day,

Love,
Mom