The day after tomorrow will be Cameron's birthday, unless he has other plans. But, I've already told him he missed the boat to come early. Dr. F isn't working at the hospital till Wednesday when she's there to deliver him so he just needs to wait it out.
I'm trying to enjoy the last few days of being pregnant. The kicks and the squirms. I'm also so ready to have him here. (and getting his little butt out from where my gall bladder used to be). His room is 98% done. Our hospital bag is packed. There is baby gear all over the house and we even put up the Christmas tree yesterday.
Speaking of Christmas...we stopped at the mall yesterday. I forgot that Santa was there already (and had been for the last 3 weeks?!) AJ was excited to go say hi. What a change from past years. So we got in line and he waited patiently. Finally it was his turn. He went right over and hopped on his lap. He told Santa what he wants for Christmas. Santa asked if we were taking a picture today. We told him we'd be back in a few weeks after little brother Cameron was here. Santa asked when I was due. When we answered Wednesday he replied "An early Christmas present for you!" You have no idea Santa...
Tomorrow will be a day of last minute things to get done. It'll also be one last trip to see Ryan for a little bit. I think that's probably what's making me so anxious. Winter is hard as it is but to add in the craziness that comes with a new baby it's going to be tough. And I know people say "you can talk to Ryan anywhere". I'm not looking for comments to make me feel better. The cemetery is my place to go to feel close to him. I talk and make sure everything is as it should be. It's the one place I feel like I can physically take care of him.
Missing you tons, sweet boy. Thanks for all of the signs lately. They've helped more than you will ever know.
Love you. Forever and a day.